My New Assistant, Charles "Upchuck" Ruttheimer
Former High School Lecher Lands Dream Job
by King Smut
Greetings erotica fans! Your favorite purveyor of porn, King Smut, has hired Ravishing Woo-Woo bartender Charles Ruttheimer as his new assistant. Upchuck, as he was popularly known at his alma mater Lawndale High, is very grateful to the King.
"There's nothing I like better than leering at...I mean, photographing hot babes," Ruttheimer says. "Except talking about history. I'm really into history and geneology. My family is really cool and really resourceful. Check out this picture of how my great grandpappy Lughaidh O'Taidhg survived the wreck of the Titanic. This is a great example of the resourcefulness my family is renowned for."
Former High School Lecher Lands Dream Job
by King Smut
Greetings erotica fans! Your favorite purveyor of porn, King Smut, has hired Ravishing Woo-Woo bartender Charles Ruttheimer as his new assistant. Upchuck, as he was popularly known at his alma mater Lawndale High, is very grateful to the King.
"There's nothing I like better than leering at...I mean, photographing hot babes," Ruttheimer says. "Except talking about history. I'm really into history and geneology. My family is really cool and really resourceful. Check out this picture of how my great grandpappy Lughaidh O'Taidhg survived the wreck of the Titanic. This is a great example of the resourcefulness my family is renowned for."
Chuck shares a favorite family photo. Who says blow-up dolls aren't multi-use?
I tell you, Folks, my new assistant is enthusiastic and cooperative and will be an asset both in front of and behind the camera. As Chuck says, he likes nothing more than photographing attractive females, particularly in explicit sexual acts--except for being involved with said attractive females in explicit sexual acts. While the general opinion of Charles in high school was less than favorable--to quote Tiffany Blum-Deckler: "Upchuck--ewwwww!" it may now be revealed that these young ladies were missing out on something big. My friend Charles sports an eight inch trouser snake. Sexy Sadie was more than happy to initiate Chuck into his new life as an adult film star.
Chuck and Sadie going for the gusto. You can see why they call Sadie a man-eater!
I'm really proud to work with these two great performers in porn! Chuck digs women of all sizes, and Sadie is a gal who loves meat--both on the dinner table and in bed! Between Sadie's confident experience and Chuck's fresh-faced enthusiasm, I think we have a real winner here! Welcome to Team Smut, Charles Ruttheimer! I can see you're gonna love being one of us!
King Smut
King Smut
3 comments:
Makes one wonder who took that picture of the Titanic. Must have been one of the Lutefiskies.
Charles is such a fine young man! Always willing to help out a neighbor. And it's so nice that he sees the beauty in women of all shapes, sizes and ages. I certainly hope that he might come by my house later and help me take care of a few needs that I have.
This is revolting!!!!!!!! I am all for showing you're Glorry but that Women is to fat!!!!!
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